SHYNESS: CAUSES, EFFECTS AND WAYS OF OVERCOMING IT.
Shyness is feeling uneasy around people in authority, elder ones, and persons of the opposite sex, strangers or even your peers. It is extreme self consciousness that at affects its victims in a variety of ways. Some get embarrassed, eyes downcast and heart pounding, they find themselves unable to speak. Others lose their composure and begin to chatter continuously. Yet others find it hard to speak up and voice their opinions.
Although they are positive aspects to having a measure of shyness. It is akin to modesty and humility, and one of the things God looks for and commends. Furthermore, a shy person is often valued as a good listener. But when shyness inhibits us from realizing our full potential and harmfully affects our relationship, work and feelings, then it is time to do something about it!
Shyness does niot describe what you are, it describes your behavior, the pattern you have learnt and reinforced through experience with others. You think others are making negative judgments of you. You think things will go all wrong if you try relating with other people. You expect things to turn out badly and they often do because you are tensed up and act I harmony with your beliefs.
By withdrawing or not speaking up, you don’t pay attention to others being preoccupied with yourself; you may have the impression that you are unfriendly, bored or even uncaring. You let opportunities pass you by. You accept items or situations you really don’t need. All because you are afraid to speak up and express your opinion. You lose out on the joy of meeting people and making new friends or doing things that will enhance your life. But others lose out too because they never get to know the real you.
With tie and effort, one can overcome shyness. To start with, stop worrying about whether the other person is evaluating you. Desist from assigning bad motives to other persons, not trusting them and thinking they are going to look down on you.
Secondly, try to think positively. No one is perfect; all of us have our strength and weakness. A difference in opinion does not mean a rejection of u as a person.
Thirdly, learn to be sociable, to say hello and if possible start a conversation. If you blunder in speech don’t feel condemned, if others laugh, learn to laugh with them. Always remember that does laughing also err in their speeches at times
In addition, one can overcome shyness by wanting to change and believing that change is possible, rehearsing a situation beforehand, dressing tastefully, making sure your clothes are clean and well ironed, acting with confidence, heeding to advice from elderly ones, e.g. parents, teachers because they can’t possibly advice you wrongly.
Conclusively, shyness is not an overall extreme in any case, try as much as possible to avoid being extremely shy. It doesn’t pay at all!
